Friday, March 30, 2007


X- Tubule ran an exhaustive survey of billions of American voters asking them what they were looking for in a woman president and what influenced their opinion. Here are the results in order of magnitude of the first 5.

Wanted – the perfect woman. She must be hot with huge breasts and Lana Turner legs. She must have a body to die for and a brain the size of a pea. Must wear a bikini at her inauguration or be naked.

Opinion was influenced by: TV and how my favorite movie stars look. Also from Hillary hater Tucker and Hard Balls Matthews’ fan clubs because Tuck and Chris constantly put forth this idea of the ideal female Chief Ex.
She must be a looker. No dog, ya know, since we’ll have to see her a lot on TV. Even a stud like ‘W’ got hard to look at after awhile with those beady little eyes and itchy nose sniffing.

Opinion influenced by: Watching those beautiful beasts on the wrestling shows - and all the girly-fluff that surrounds them; NASCAR attitudes; FOX Vixens and most of the Snuff films that pass themselves off as crime shows .
First off, a woman president should be a great cook and she must know how to sew or knit. She’ll be present in a lot of meetings with the men who are running the country and she needs to have something to do while they talk. Also, she should always bring home-cooked snacks for them.

Opinion influenced by: Oprah, The View and the Happy Housewives blog.
She must be God-fearing, that is she must know her place. She should arrange for daily religious services to be held all over the White House, the Senate and House of Representatives. She must keep the White House spotless and always obey her husband.

Opinion influenced by: The Southern Christian Men’s Conferences and the stalwart Buckles of the Bible Belt.
She must be intelligent and knowledgeable about world affairs. She must be experienced and willing to work hard and serve the people instead of starting wars. [Each respondent in this category also gave their Party preference]

Opinion influenced by: Reading a variety of newspapers from around the world; listening to different TV newscasts and research on WEB.
X – Tubule pollsters asked the respondents giving replies similar to the first 4 opinions listed above about their Party preference. To their surprise, Party did not appear to influence their choice where a woman president was concerned.

They figured a party was a party so, “Party on, Dude!”
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