Senator Barbara Boxer is not a fav of mine although I do respect much of what she has done and is doing. When I heard that she made a polite, reasonable request that a military man testifying before her committee address her as Senator, I anticipated she would be attacked in the most vile, misogynist way. I had to look around awhile before I found anything even faintly understanding of her position.
About time women had the pride and courage to stand up for themselves. I've watched many hearings and male senators are generally called senator and sometimes sir. Many times I have heard women senators called Mrs [husband's name].
One needs to understand that ma'am and mrs are detrimental terms. I know many women feel that having a husband is a mark of success but history and society tells us this is not so. They signify possession.
1668, colloquial shortening of madam (q.v.). Formerly the ordinary respectful form of address to a married woman; later restricted to the queen, royal princesses, or by servants to their mistresses.
1297, title of honor of a knight or baronet (until 17c. also a title of priests), variant of sire, originally used only in unstressed position. Generalized as a respectful form of address by c.1350; used as a salutation at the beginning of letters from 1425.
I've gone through it all my life as male professionals at meetings and elsewhere were always called Dr. or Professor X but I, and other women, were called mostly by Mrs or Miss [with an occasional Ms snearingly thrown in and also by our first names.
Asking that one's title be used is asking for a load of manure to be dumped on you as I know from experience. Women are supposed to take it, after all we let them get an education but that does not mean that it is equal to any man's. Yeah, I know that some women think being one of the boys means being a good sport. If he tweaks your breast, you can just tweak his genitals - he'd just love it and you'd be fulfilling the slut profile every woman has emblazoned on her chest.
In the alanagkelly blog linked above, the author tells of instances where males are allowed to demand how they are addressed. Yeah, it happens but it is so OK that one seldom notices.
It is going to take prominant women standing up and protesting and the rest of us cheering them on instead of dumping on them to even begin to make changes in the way women are respected for their abilities. They must be given the same respect as men in public office, professional status and, of course, as wife and mother. Slavery of women [possession] must be outlawed and battering of her mind and body must be stopped.