NIPPLEMANIA

Again with a [woman’s] breast fiasco! Enough already! We suffered through the ignominy of the Janet Jackson’s peek-a-boo nipple which tarnished the otherwise pristine purity of a football game.

How dare she interfere with beer and erectile dysfunction commercials? What a horror to dilute the gyrations of nearly naked cheer leaders. What was she thinking putting sex into a male grunting contest?

Well, yes, we did survive it – just barely. Fines for showing such degusting things went up and TV people put in a longer time delay so any naughty thing that turned up could be squelched before it went on air to contaminate the public at large.

Now one of those pesky trouble making females has had the temerity to haul out a breast – that’s right, a breast – in an airplane full of decent people and start to feed her baby.

Of course the flight attendant had to enforce the rules of her male superiors and force the mother to hide this atrocity or leave the plane.

Can you imagine anything so disturbing to the other passengers short of a terrorist threat? Of course not, it surely is akin to someone lighting their shoe on fire.

We are so civilized that our fashion now presents women with overflowing breasts or bras that sculpt them into mounds that are indistinguishable from a nuclear plant control building. Anything breastwise is OK to show, even encouraged, in any amount, except a nipple or a portion thereof.

Stephanie Miller constantly speaks of her “lovely lady lumps”, on Air America Radio. Apparently this is her effort to defuse the male fetish of staring down the front of her dress. Who could really want to look at lumps since they are so intimately associated with breast cancer?

Her effort to educate is wasted as most males just don’t get it. It may be genetic, this nipple thing. They will bare their boy breasts, replete with nipples whenever they wish and allow other males to do the same.

This is despite the fact that in overweight America there are many males with breasts that would fill a double D cup, with nipples that doubtless match the size of their amygdala.

The reason for this breast exposure discrimination, we are told, is to keep women safe from men’s uncontrollable response to jump their bones at the sight of an errant nipple.

This might work as a reason if it weren’t for the fact that women are raped and savaged everyday who are fully covered and obviously not “asking for it”. So there must be another reason or is it obvious?
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